"Save yer pennies, kids." 

A play in two acts by Thomas M. Kelly, © 2011

 ACT I, Scene One

[JUBAL, wearing the regalia of an avid Tom Mix fan of the mid-twentieth century, from boots to chaps to ‘arrow’ shirt to his ‘Tom Mix’ hat, is at the door to his garage/museum, strumming and singing a cowboy ditty from “Along Came Jones” with Gary Cooper 1945, “Ole’ Joe Clark” singing to tourists.]

JUBAL

Ah wisht Ah had me a sweetheart, I'd set her on the shelf.  

And every time she'd smile at me , Ah'd get up there myself.

Fare thee well, Old Joe Clark,  Fare thee well, Ah say 

Fare thee well, Old Joe Clark.  It’s time ta’ say g’day 

Ol’ Joe Clark ‘ee ’ad a wife, ‘n’ she was seven feet tall,

She slept wi’ ‘er head in the kitchen, ‘n’ ‘er big feet in the hall.

Fare thee well, Old Joe Clark.  Fare thee well, Ah’ll say 

Fare thee well, Old Joe Clark.  Now Ah I'll be on ma’ way

[JUBAL sets the guitar down and talks to the tourists/audience.]

…so ya’ see folks …cowpokes were on the Western movie scene as early as nineteen ought four with Tom Edison’s “Brush Between Cowboys and Indians”.  A’fore that most of a’ the movies showed native Americans and the lone frontiersmen as the heroes.  Ya’ all ‘member James Fenimore Cooper’s “Last o’ tha Mohicans”?  …‘N’ by the by…..  those natives weren’t Mohicans, they called themselves Mohe-gans.  That’s with a gee... not a cee  …[Pause.]…  Well, ta’ continua’.  Like Cooper’s heroes, Natty Bumppo, a white man, his Mohegan brothers Chin-gotch-gook and Uncas, …after they done did their good deed, ….they always returned to the wilderness.  Our movie cowpoke hero began with “Broncho Billy ‘n’ the Baby” featurin’ Gilbert M. "Broncho Billy" Anderson as a outlaw.  Ya’ see he saved the day for a baby… so the baby’s parents reformed "Broncho Billy" ta’ the way o’ the bible.  

V.O.  [Interrupting.]

And Jesus said unto them, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

JUBAL

Yes, uh... thank ya’, sir, but Ah’ dohn think “Broncho Billy” was converted, he was found and reformed.  Now since he was reformed, he couldn’t go on back to outlawin’.  ‘Specially in the wilderness.  ‘Cause in the wilderness there was nobody ta’ outlaw agi’n.  So he decided to stay on.  He was what the town folk wanted: [JUBAL acts these out.] a man good with a gun… good with his fists, fearless in the face of evil, ...

Available in paperback and Kindle edition on Amazon.

ISBN: 9781452471129